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Are You Cheating on your Mate with Toys?

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I am shocked that it has become my obligation to report a travesty, spewing in the psyche of a collective group of individuals, that believe; using sex toys while in a relationship constitutes cheating. “Get the F*CK outta’ hear”, I want to scream out, up to the mountain tops, hoping that Aphrodite: the Goddess of love, beauty, procreation and pleasure, will show her face in disgust and wage war against the sexually repressed. Then I remember, I live on planet earth where it is expected that I maintain some semblance of assimilation or the intellectual decision makers will haul me off to a muted mental institution. With that grasp back to reality, I figured sharing my thoughts with forward thinking, 21st century, fun and flirty, empowered lovers of sex would simmer my desire for war - I hope.

I am sure that since the beginning of time, some sort of self-pleasuring apparatus has stimulated the loins of women. During the Victorian Age, it is believed that doctors treated female hysteria with a pelvic massage until they climaxed and thus curing their hysteria. With that visual, it is feasible to rationalize that sexual health and mental health go hand in hand: so why would any one want to hinder healthy sexual health? OK, maybe I am reaching, but clearly you have begun to figure out that this is a biased report and I am tired of beating around the bush – pun intended.

Like Kanye West said, I got a big ego; I truly believe that anyone who deems that self-pleasuring is cheating is jealous, simply because they can’t compete with the increased prowess of sexual technology. Today’s sex toy choices include double penetration, 10 modes, spinning, glow in the dark, 14” glass, customizing, gold vibrations, flashing lights and extreme girth all attached to a no talking back, Mr. Mandingo. Always right where you left him, in that secret place; sex toys are faithful and only require batteries and/or a little recharging. I can even carry my toy of choice, in my purse. This truth can promote insecurity because most men like to believe that in addition to needing to be the only one, possess Mandingo warrior qualities, seizing the hearts and vaginas of women into submission. Even worse than that is the old school belief that women who seek sexual stimulation outside of them, do so because of emotional stimuli. The idea that women may seek sexual gratification based purely on pleasure with the exclusion of emotional love is hard for the ego.

At the end of the day, with all of the sexual bells and whistles, sex toys have no heart; they render no sweet kisses or warm passion filled love strokes as the sun rises. They do not have the capacity to be a listening ear after a long days work or a protective shoulder to cry on and the best for me; a lazy Saturday spent making love, watching movies, ordering take-out and sudden fits of tickle time as a real man says and shows he loves all of me.

Since the sexual revolution of the 1960’s sex toy use has been on the incline with almost half of all adult women in the 21st century having used a sex toy. I started my own online sex toy boutique, feathersxxx for this very reason, but never with the intention of promoting infidelity. Although it s clear that I do not view the use of sex toys as being unfaithful, it may be possible that sex toys and self stimulation may need to be included in the relationship dynamic conversation and not left to chance. A lot of the things that disrupt the peace of a relationship are not actual things but the surprise of not knowing. Communication may be the tool that makes your partner feel irreplaceable and maybe even a part of an even greater orgasmic experience.

My name is Marchelle L. Wilson and I cheat on my mate with sex toys –Do you?


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